Tag: miracles

I’m Back.

So it has been approximately forever since I have posted on here. Life got so busy, I started a new job, am still looking for a teaching job, this whole Covid stuff happened, and Ashtyn turned one.

Yes, you read that right. Ashtyn is one. Like how cool is God? For real though, He is so stinking cool. Ashtyn turned one on March second and we had her party March 7th. It was such an awesome experience of going crazy trying to make everything perfect. Everything has to reflect here theme, “my first bee-day”. All the black and yellow in the world. The outfit Ashtyn wore had to be the cutest thing in the world- huge thank you to one of my best friends for making her shirt and to Ashtyn’s nurse for making the skirt. We had to take family pictures to mark this tremendous milestone. We had to find the perfect venue. It was just a lot, but we got to do it.

In preparing for Ashtyn to make her arrival, the Lord gave Alex a message, “prepare for your miracle” and directed us to the story of the woman who was told to collect as many jars as she possibly could even though she only had a little oil herself. We read this story and instantly knew that we needed to stand bold in who the Lord says He is, a miracle worker. So we prepped for our miracle. Set all of her clothes up, put the car seat in the car, put the stroller together, and I planned her first five birthdays, so being able to execute her first birthday was nothing but amazing. I think my favorite part was the picture wall we had of Ashtyn, one picture from every month of her life. When looking through the pictures we had of Ashtyn, especially the ones from her first couple of weeks, I was instantly brought to tears, not just because my tiny baby was so big now, but because I remember all the pacing in prayer, I remember Alex anointing my belly, I remember kneeling at the edge of the bed and just sobbing. I remember the days in the NICU, I remember just shutting down when a doctor would try to prepare us for the worst, but most of all, I remember the presence of the Almighty. The same presence that was with us on the day of confirmation of diagnosis, was with us in the hospital room, the surgery room, the waiting room, the hallways, the Ronald McDonald house. Always. He heard every prayer, walked every step with us, held us in the darkest hours. But what hits me in the feels the most, is that He was with Ashtyn, too.

I 100 percent believe that Ashtyn knows who Jesus is, how can she not? Her daddy and I were just joking last night because I broke out my pregnancy pillow and said something like “wow I cannot believe I ever stopped sleeping with this, I don’t know what is different, but I have slept so well with this the last couple of nights.” To which Alex replied “it’s anointed, dear. Do you know how many prayers that thing has absorbed.” We both laughed, but it is true. I still have shirts with anointing oil stains on them. I am pretty sure Ashtyn, for the first couple of months of her life, permanently smelled like olive oil. And since before we even knew about her diagnosis, she was prayed over as worship music was played over my belly every night before bed. Shoot, worship music is still her favorite now! She smiles when we say our prayers; when we have worship music playing, she gets either real excited (especially if mommy gets real into it- Pentecostal roots, sorry not sorry) or calms down when she is upset. Ashtyn knows who her maker is; there is no doubt in my mind.

Jesus does not discriminate. Jesus is not only for the elderly, the young adults, the rich, the poor. He is for me, for you, for Ashtyn. He is for all. He died for all. He loves all.

Good Bye 2019, and Thank You!

Wow. I blinked and 2019 is gone. I double blinked and Ashtyn is almost 10 months old! Like what the what?

This year was the hardest year I have personally ever been through. You guys know that scripture that says “The devil comes like a thief in the night?” WELL Satan came morning, noon, night, midnight, crack of dawn; you name it, he was there trying to take away anything that I had left.

We knew about Ashtyn’s diagnosis in 2018, but as her due date kept getting closer the panic attacks, crying in the baby section of every store I went into, the anger at other pregnant moms, and doubt in who God says he is grew and grew. I really didn’t know how I was going to make it.

The great thing about God is, is that he knows how to carry us through the most difficult times. Sometimes it’s a soft cradle like holding a newborn baby and other times it’s hoisting us over his shoulder like we are tantrum throwing toddlers. Then there is what he did to me this year. Ya’ll ever seen the movie “Inside Out?” The part when Joy is dragging Sadness by her leg through the long term memory PERFECTLY depicts how I was handled. Some of you all might think that I sound crazy, and that Jesus is gentle when handling us. Which is true, but let’s not forget the time when he flipped his lid at the disciples for sleeping in the garden while he was praying, sent a fish to swallow Jonah, kept Moses in the desert for 40 years. God knows what we need to get us to where we are headed. I needed to be sad and “lay down” at my Father’s feet. He allowed me to do just that.

This year has been HUGE in discovering more about Christ daily. And he is allowing us to do that through the most precious gift He has ever given to Alex and I (besides his life, of course). We look at our sweet Ashtyn and know that we are looking at the face of God. We see his mightiness through her. His faithfulness is revealed in every milestone she reaches. His miracle working power is written into her story so eloquently, and we are forever grateful. Grateful for each smile, laugh, snore, hospital stay, rough night, growth spurt. All of it.

*Enter my Tye Tribbet singing voice* The Devil thought he had me. Thought my life was over. He thought that I would give up. He thought I had no more, BUT THAT’S WHEN SOMEONE GREATER STEPPED INTO MY SITUATION. MY MORNING HAS NOW BEGUN. HE TURNED IT.

Oh, and my my my how he turned it. I have my sweet love bug here with me despite what everyone said. My biggest lesson that I learned this year is to trust. Trust God. Trust his plan. Trust his process. Trust his timing. He is in control.

Happy New Year! Step into it with confidence in who God says He is!